All You Need is Love

Ruby

2011-05-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

My Shield of Faith

2011-05-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

God is faithful.

Our desire to add a third baby to the family began several years ago. It took some convincing, but Corey finally agreed...well...I'll say..relented in 2009. We had wonderful perfect plans of how and when it would fit into our timeline. We had two babies of happy accident fame, so never did we anticipate the fact that years and circumstances would change.
After two almost back to back pregnancy losses, our faith was shaken. We began to question if this was really God's will for our lives...another baby. We have both honestly stated that we would not change anything about what happened with those pregnancies. We stated that even before we were successful with a third.
There is nothing like the closeness to God you feel in the midst of what seems like the worst thing that can happen. Corey and I were pulled together as team in such a deep way...we were both pulled close to God in such a deep way. There is no substitute for tragedy as a faith building exercise.
At the beginning of this pregnancy, we had signs of it bringing yet another loss. For night and half a day we experienced the same fears and prayed the same prayers we had prayed twice before.
Yet, God moved in our lives and she lived inside me. She thrived.
I was sick and my body was tired. Our family was growing.
And now, we have seen faith realized.
The Bible verse that I clung to during the times when we waited out the losses...

"Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for....the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

It means even more to me as I have been through this particular fire and have seen that God is always faithful and He will see us through to the answer He has in store. Whether that be a deep contentment with the journey and companionship with Him. Or whether it be through an answer that you will forever be able to point at and say, "there.... there is the evidence that God is faithful...there is the evidence that God answers prayers and gives out blessings above and beyond all that we could ever imagine or repay." Or whether it be through both. A journey that has left me on the other side of the entire thing RICH with both. With increased faith...increased trust.....a building up of my marriage, my family, my confidence, the ability to face things I would have never dreamed my body could make it through emotionally or physically.

I can't imagine now...if we had had it easy with bringing Ruby into the world and into our family. I wouldn't trade a single minute of the last two years. I am blessed to have this layer added to my Shield of Faith. When doubts threaten my ability to trust we will be ready. We have the evidence. That God is faithful...He is faithful to US, and His plan is for our good. And it is very good.

Ruby's Birth

2011-05-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

Warning: There are details about childbirth in this post. Do not read it you don't want to "hear" the details.

It seems like this story started a long time ago. We started looking for her to arrive at the beginning of May, but....she didn't. Not on Mother's Day...not on Corey's birthday, not on Friday the 13th...not even on the full moon.
I had several periods of early contractions that would be regular and fairly strong. Then I would go to bed and they would stop.
My blood pressure would not behave at the dr. office and was high a few times at home. I didn't have any other symptoms of pre-eclampsia so I personally did not feel in danger but the dr. was giving me the push for an induction starting when I hit the due date. I held out. They wanted to start me with Cytotec which I felt very strongly against. It was because she was high and I wasn't dilating at all, the cytotec thins the cervix and would prepare me to be induced. I kept holding out on them. 40 weeks came. 41 weeks came. And the night before my appointment on Thursday May 19th I had more contractions. The morning of my appointment the dr. had to leave to catch a baby so my appointment was put off until the afternoon and I kept having contractions off and on all day. By that afternoon when they checked me I had progressed to 2-3 cm, 50% thinned but she was still high. We had already discussed the fact that if I progressed enough that we could start an induction with just pitocin, we would agree. And I had. BUT, they wanted me to go to the hospital right then. I held them off again so I could attend the kids' recital for their homeschool afternoon co-op group. The doctors and nurses really thought I had lost my mind. I was 41 weeks and 2 days and asking for another delay on the induction! The dr. told me to report to the hospital at 5am.
I got harder contractions the rest of the day. That night at the kids' recital they got harder and we decided to let the kids go ahead and spend the night with my parents afterward. On the way home we stopped at the store and I thought for sure we would be going straight home and back out to the hospital. The contractions were harder and very regular.
Well...guess what happened when we got home? They stopped. But not before keeping me up till 11pm the night before I was reporting at 5am.
Now, we get to the actual birth story....
We got up at 4:15. Arrived to the hospital to check in at 5am.
It was around 8:00 before they got everything going/hooked up/checked in.
At 8:15, the dr. on call came in. NOT A FAN. She was extremely snippy. She is one of those who is a "swooper" with a domineering attitude. Before I knew what was happening she had broken my water, upped the pitocin, and made me cry.
The AMAZING nurse comforted me.
Lindsey, our birth instructor/birth coach assistant/friend arrived soon after that at around 8:30. She is the one who kept notes and a timeline so I could even put this together so I am very thankful for that.
At 9:15 I was having contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I was needing to concentrate during them, but in between I was talking and chatting.
We decided to try out the birth ball chair that the hospital has. It was pretty neat...a ball on a wheeled base with a back on it. I sat on the ball through the next few contractions and then decided to get up. When I did, (around 10am) I had a BIG gush of water and I started laughing which then resulted in an even bigger gush of water. It soaked the floor everywhere and my socks. We all got a good laugh in before the next contraction came.
The nurse checked me at 10:20 and I was 4-5 cm dilated and the baby still at -4 station. I was personally a little disappointed and was hoping things would start going a little faster. The contractions were very strong and close together. At 11:05 I had a triple peak contraction...no rest in between.
Every time I had a contraction I was doubting my ability to go through with this without an epidural. But then in between the relief was so intensely AMAZING that I reminded Corey to not let me give in.
At 11:20 I had my freak out session. I said I didn't want to do it, couldn't do it. Every time I had a bad contraction I would freak out thinking about pushing her out and how much worse that was going to be.
Corey and Lindsey got me refocused and encouraged me.
Corey was so great the entire time. He was smiling, encouraging me, and not freaking out at all (in front of me anyway!)

At 11:40 my contractions were making me feel very "pushy." Lindsey suggested that I use a high pitched singy songy voice instead of the low moan I was doing. She noted that my response to that was "I'm not doing that!" ha ha. I did end up with my own variation which was a high pitched "heeeeeee heeeeeee" sound instead.
These were VERY intense pains. There was no build up or let down. It was just instantly very intense and then instantly gone. I am not sure exactly how long they were lasting, but it didn't seem terribly long. There just wasn't a good break in between many times.
At noon the nurse checked me again and I was 8-9 cm. FINALLY some progress. Her head was a little lower but still fairly high.
At some point Lindsey suggested we stop and pray. I cannot remember at all when we did that but it was a beautiful encouragement for me. I believe it was while the squat bar was up but it isn't listed in the notes so I honestly don't remember for sure.
At 12:15 we got the squat bar for the bed. I changed positions a little bit and started using the bar instead of Corey's arm to pull on during the contractions.
After being checked and being 8-9 cm in my head I knew now that there was no giving in or backing out now. There wasn't time for an epidural. I finally found myself in a good rhythm of heading off the contractions with a good breath, doing the high pitched sounds and then collapsing in between. I was in a dream like state almost. At one point I actually felt myself falling into a dream and with a half smile on my face as I came out of it into a contraction.
Now looking at this timeline I see why my arms starting killing me yesterday afternoon! I used the squat bar to pull myself up during the contractions...it felt good to have something to do with my body and change my position while it was happening. I started feeling a lot of pressure so the nurse checked me again.
At 12:57 I was still 8-9 cm and she said that the cervix left was on one side so to try moving my body at a different angle through the next ones.
At 1:08 I got this sudden overwhelming amount of pressure and I lifted myself up off the bed and yelled: "She's coming!!!!!!!!!"
Lindsey yelled, "Lynda hurry!" (Lynda-nurse)
My body totally pushed her out. I was never in less control of myself than I was at that moment. I felt no ring of fire moment. It was way less painful than all the contractions. The part I had dreaded the most was happening so quickly that I didn't even have time to think about what was going on. I felt like I was watching it all on tv...everything because busy and frantic as the nurse tried to get the dr. in. I really had no idea what I was going on as they got me sitting back instead of whatever position it was I was in during the squat bar/head crowning moment.
Everything seemed to happen all at once as Lynda started catching the baby and the dr. walked in just in time to "finish" the delivery at 1:10pm. Corey got to cut the cord.
She came out so quickly! Apparently she took a couple of minutes to pink up just because of how fast she came out. She had to be suctioned because of all the "stuff" still in there and she was pooping on the way out.
At 1:12pm she had pinked up. Her APGARS were 7/9. They laid her on my chest for a couple of minutes but I can't remember exactly when in this timeline that was because of the suctioning, etc.
At 1:20 the placenta was out and the dr. was stitching me up. I never did ask exactly what kind of tear or stitching I had done. The dr. was gone by 1:30pm. THANKFULLY I didn't have to deal with the dr. very much at all which I had also been dreading throughout labor. I think I may have a very special nurse to thank for how very last minute the dr. was in arriving. ;)
At 1:40pm she was brought to me again and she immediately was rooting and ready to nurse. She latched very well and was awake and actively nursing for a full 20 minutes!
At 2pm the notes stop because Lindsey left to give us our quiet family time.
It was amazing to have that time for the three of us to just be together. Her arrival has been anxiously awaited now for what seems like years. The experience of labor just brought it full circle. She is finally here and we are in love!
I was instantly happy that I didn't give up and get an epidural. My legs were strong and stable almost immediately. I was able to move around while they got me and the bed cleaned up, etc.
I will post some pictures and more about our time together later, I just wanted to get this typed up before the details got even more fuzzy.
I wouldn't change a single thing! Well...I guess I would have preferred if labor had started on it's own because I know the pitocin made things harder to endure. But I would not choose to get drugs if I was doing it again. Ruby is alert, interested in nursing, actively nursing already, and so content and happy. But the biggest advantage is the fact that less than 24 hours later I am for the most part completely back to normal! The difference in how I feel after less than 48 hrs as compared to my drugged births is completely unable to be compared in the least! I feel awesome.
More to come later.

Added: Many people think/thought I was crazy for wanting to experience childbirth without pain medication. I understand why people question because it is just the norm to get an epidural or other pain medication. I want to clarify that I did not want to do this to be "tough." I am not one who enjoys pain. If I get a bad headache I will take medicine for it.
My reasoning for going epidural free is for the sake of the labor/delivery/baby/and myself.
I did not want to inhibit or prolong labor and delivery. I didn't want pitocin to cause stress on the baby which is often needed if you get an epidural. I also did not want the drug to pass over to Ruby during labor. I also desired to experience the natural hormonal surges that occur with labor and delivery that can be blocked when the natural process is altered/inhibited. You can also read a longer list of things HERE which played a part in my decision. There are many other websites that list reasons to avoid interventions but I chose one that wasn't necessarily on a "natural" childbirth website to share.
The main thing I wanted to repeat is that I did not make this choice easily or just to appear "tough." I had to compromise on having zero intervention due to the fact that Ruby decided to wait long past her due date and I ended up with pitocin anyway.
To me, using pain medication increased my odds of having other situations arise that were not desirable. I would not get a tooth pulled without medication because that would not help the procedure go more easily or quickly or without additional risks. It's a personal choice, I do not judge others who choose epidurals. I just wanted to explain my reasons.
I wasn't actually sure I would be able to do it until I actually did it. If I'd have given in, I wouldn't have hated myself forever or anything. I am just glad that I went through with it because now I know that I can, and that I did what I wanted to do after having considered all the options/choices. :)

Ruby is Here!

2011-05-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

Born on May 20th, 2011

8 pounds, 15 ounces

21 1/2 inches long

Birth Story to come later.

41 Weeks

2011-05-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

I held off posting...in hopes that any minute would be the one.
But I'm still here and I'm still pregnant.
I have had several periods of time with a few hours of contractions. In fact, last night they were so hard that I was positive we would be having a baby by this morning. But they always fizzle out. Last night they fizzled out.
The good news is that my blood pressure is great.
Last week I had a high reading at the dr. and they wanted to send me straight over to be induced, but when I got to the hospital and relaxed it went down and there were no other indicators that I needed to be induced. Baby was fine, I was fine, urine and blood was fine. So we went home. I monitored my bp at home over the weekend and it was fine. Went back for a follow up Monday morning and it was high again. I really think I just get really stressed about being at the dr. I can even feel my pulse start to race when I'm in the waiting room.
On Monday he gave me two choices. He was sending in orders for an induction Monday night and he wanted me to make an appointment for Thursday morning.
I obviously didn't go in for the induction. I really thought I wouldn't be going back to the dr. Thursday. I thought she would be here!
On top of everything, my best friend is leaving in the morning to go to her husband's army officer graduation and will only be back for two days after that before they head to Missourri for his training period for several months. Then they are headed to Alaska! I really was hoping for Ruby to be here for a while before she had to leave! :(
*sigh*
This whole entire journey to baby #3 has been one big lesson in patience, God's timing, and giving up control.
I didn't think there was any way we could still be learning that lesson! ha!

And thus, the learning never ends! 41 weeks and counting.

40 Weeks!

2011-05-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Due date day! It's here....and passing............tick tock tick tock.

Nothing to report. I most likely will give an update after going to the doctor Thursday if I make it till then, and won't update again unless something major happens before she is born. Hopefully the next post after Thursday, or even after this one, will be a birth story!

Here's a lot of info about week 40:

It's hard to say for sure how big your baby will be, but the average newborn weighs about 7 1/2 pounds and is about 20 inches long. Her skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal during labor. This so-called "molding" is the reason your baby's noggin may look a little conehead-ish after birth. Rest assured — it's normal and temporary.

Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

How your life's changing:

After months of anticipation, your due date rolls around, and... you're still pregnant. It's a frustrating, but common, situation in which to find yourself. You may not be as late as you think, especially if you're relying solely on a due date calculated from the day of your last period because sometimes women ovulate later than expected. Even with reliable dating, some women have prolonged pregnancies for no apparent reason.
You still have a couple of weeks before you'll be considered "post-term." But to be sure your baby is still thriving, your practitioner will schedule you for testing to keep an eye on her if your pregnancy continues.
You may have a biophysical profile, which consists of an ultrasound to look at your baby's overall movements, breathing movements (movement of her chest muscles and diaphragm), and muscle tone (whether she opens and closes her hand or extends and then flexes her limbs), as well as the amount of amniotic fluid that surrounds her (important because it's a reflection of how well the placenta is supporting your baby).
Fetal heart rate monitoring (called a nonstress test or NST) will generally be done as well — by itself or as part of the BPP. Or, you may have what's known as a modified BPP, which consists of an NST and an ultrasound to assess the amount of amniotic fluid.
If the fetal testing isn't reassuring — the amniotic fluid level is too low, for example — you'll be induced. If there's a serious, urgent problem, you may have an immediate c-section.
Your practitioner will also check your cervix to see if it's "ripening." Its position, how soft it is, how effaced (thinned out) it is, and how dilated (open) it is can all affect when and how your labor is induced. If you don't go into labor on your own, you'll be induced, usually sometime between 41 and 42 weeks.

A Place to Sleep

2011-05-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

The baby corner......all gussied up now.

This is the cradle that my mom picked up for us, made by my great uncle.

It now has blankets stored underneath, a mattress made by my mom, and is covered with waterproof pads, and decorated with handmade quilts and decorated burp cloths.

And as a nice finishing touch, a beautiful decorative touch with a pink heart from Corey's mom that reads "Sweet Girl."

If she's been waiting for this to be ready, then she doesn't have to wait any more! :)

39 Week Appointment

2011-05-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing to report. "About" a fingertip dilated. She is still high. Guess I need to up the walking and bouncing and drinking of tea. :)

39 Weeks!

2011-05-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

Well....here we are. The final countdown! I have absolutely no idea or inclination of any kind whether Ruby will come any time soon. I suppose I know she will be coming "sometime" soon as in it won't be a month ha ha. I had a slight blood pressure problem yesterday. It went up about 20 points higher than my normal and was kind of climbing/all over the place for several hours. But, Ruby was active throughout. The thing that scared me was that I really felt badly too...I had a bad headache and felt nauseated. A few hours after dinner, it leveled out and came down. I was so glad. I really didn't want to spend time at the hospital basically doing what I was doing at home (checking it). I was going to call the doctor if it didn't settle down, but it did, so I got to sleep in my own bed. I didn't want to be pressured into induction either, which is also what might have happened if I had been there and it hadn't gone down within their time frame. I don't go to the doctor until Thursday this week. I've been drinking my red raspberry leaf tea, went walking this morning, and have been bouncing on my exercise ball to maybe get some news of progression this week, in some small way at least.

39 weeks, freshly painted/prettied toes compliments of Bethany! :)

Here is more about week 39:
Your baby's waiting to greet the world! She continues to build a layer of fat to help control her body temperature after birth, but it's likely she already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of her skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

38 Week Dr. Visit

2011-04-28T08:15:00.001-07:00

Well....I caved and let them check me today. It's my 30th birthday.

Absolutely nothing going on! Guess we will be definitely having a May baby! :)

Here I am! 30 years old and 38 weeks pregnant!

38 Weeks!

2011-04-26T05:39:00.000-07:00

Another week down! New symptom this week: cramping.
It's nothing strong and it isn't stop and go, so not contractions. Just general, uncomfortable, feels like my time of the month cramps. It was only at night but I am feeling it this morning too. I suppose it is just more stretching going on.
We still have some things to get done here at home but basically have everything we need.
Here's more about week 38:

Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long. She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.
Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

My packing lists

2011-04-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

I thought of doing this the other day just due to the fact that I can reference it later on if needed. :)
Here are my various packing/purchase lists I've used over the past few weeks to get everything ready!

Labor/Delivery Bag:
Birth Plan
Baby Book
Boppy Pillow
Thick Towel (for various use...probably Corey in case he needs to kneel on the floor)
Snacks
Camera
Ipod
Rescue Remedy Spray
Wash Cloths
Massage Oil
Notepad/pen

Hospital Stay Bag
Pajamas? In case I want them.
Robe
Nursing Tanks
Nursing Bras
Clothes to wear home
Toiletries
Underwear
Pads
Nursing Pads
Lanolin
Extra reusable bag for bringing "stuff" home
Vitamins
Corey's supplies

Diaper Bag:
2 extra onesies
blanket
diaper/wipes
Swaddle Me Blankets
Burp Cloths
Coming home outfit
hats
socks
nail clippers (we always needed nail clippers for our other two right away! ha!)

Katie and Noah's bags for the gparents:
clothes
vitamins
underwear
sleeping bag

The other stuff I picked up to have at home afterward is what I could remember having to send someone out for or get on the way home. I may or may not need it this time around but I would rather have it ready and waiting than to wish I had it. I already placed them in a little plastic bin under the bathroom sink so Corey can get it out for me easily and I can add the other stuff from the hospital that I remember getting, like the little squirt water bottle and various other "stuffs." Here it is:

At Home Supplies
Dermoplast Spray
Witch Hazel
Epsom Salt
Pads in all various sizes and shapes
gentle stool softener
Post pregnancy tea
Disposable plates/cups/bowls to use the first couple of days. :)

A few more things on my to-do list:
PACK all this stuff. I have it all together, but it is not in a bag, except for the double supply of toiletries I picked up.
CLEAN the house finally!
Pack up the school supplies and restock for next year.
Put the pack n play sheet on the co sleeper.
Put the waterproof mattress pad under the sheets on my side of the bed! (just in case! :)
Pick up a robe.
Pick up a set of full size sheets for the guest bed. (this is a low priority)
Pick up the replacement parts set for my breast pump. I won't need them right away or even the first 6 weeks or so, but I do want to have them because I have a really nice pump from when I worked full time and nursed Noah. Since I already have it I figure why not use it to get some spare put away for those "just in case" situations. It would make me feel less stressed and worried because I'm always thinking about the what ifs, ha. What if I had to have surgery or got sick with something or blah blah blah.

It's (Still) a Girl!

2011-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Today was doctor day! I saw the same lady who did our 20 week ultrasound. I really like her. She makes nice conversation when she comes in. I mentioned what the doctor said last time about suspecting she could be breech so she felt around and couldn't find the head down low. So, she suggested we pop over to the ultrasound room for a quick look!
She immediately confirmed that her butt is up high and her head is way down low! YAY! Such a relief! No more stressing about having to spend time trying to get her to flip. While we were in there she also took the time to confirm that YES she is definitely still a GIRL! *WHEW!* Corey and I had both been a little worried in the back of our minds just because we actually painted a pink wall and have tons of pink stuff already! We lived in apartments with both the other two so we never painted anything and always stuck with gender neutral on bigger stuff like bouncy seats, etc. She got some really cute shots......

Alien baby face! aaaahh! ha ha ha ha. The eyes never show up well. This is straight on looking at her face.

A little less of an alien look in that one. I have another later on with labels. Her face is sideways, if you tilt to the right you get the right view. She said that the little white fuzzy area at the top of her head is some hair.

This one is my favorite even though you can't see most of the face. You can see her pudgy little nose and cheeks and lips. There's one labeled further down so you can reference it.

And....now....

For the sake of perhaps one day putting this blog into book form, there's the "girl" shot, right next to the little white plus sign, ha ha.

Profile, with leg/foot up by her face.

I am thrilled I got to get these pics today! And to confirm double good news: head DOWN and still a girl!

37 Weeks!

2011-04-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

Any time now! Though, I am not anticipating anything happening until at LEAST May, probably the week of the due date or later.
I am having a few minor cramps and pains at night, some worse than others. But I think it's just due to end of the day exhaustion. I am getting in the mood to get things done around here finally....to Corey's relief I am sure! ha.
We discussed our plans for the hospital this weekend and have decided that the best plan for success with the natural childbirth is to be alone..just Corey and myself at the hospital for labor and delivery. I am someone who is affected by things in my head BIG TIME and the thought of anyone waiting at the hospital makes me really anxious. I am determined to go through with the natural childbirth and I would be really disappointed if anything distracted us from that goal. We want time alone with Ruby right after her birth, not an audience. Especially since this may very well be our last experience, I want it to be a BIG memory for Corey and me. Katie, Noah, and the grandparents will be the first to come and visit, and THEN we will be announcing it to the world. I mean, what's the rush? Right? :) All I can remember immediately after Katie's birth is the feeling of the papparazzi invading our room. It was overwhelming.

It could happen any time now!

Here's more about week 37:
Your baby is now considered "full term," even though your due date is three weeks away. If you go into labor now, her lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. (Some babies need a bit more time, though. So if you're planning to have a repeat c-section, for example, your practitioner will schedule it for no earlier than 39 weeks unless there's a medical reason to intervene earlier.)
Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.

Counting Down and Finishing Projects

2011-04-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

I have had a "to-do" list posted on my regular blog. Now that we have a lot of the big things done, it's time to move on to the little last minute things. I don't remember any of this planning with the other two. I think I was too busy being a college student and newlywed, ha ha. You can read the last update to our lists here. Since this is the baby blog though, I will share the photos of the nursery on this one. Corey just finished setting up the furniture an hour ago.

These pictures were taken on my phone...sigh...sorry I am super lazy.

This was Friday right after Corey painted the pink wall. The color just doesn't show up well.

And now...with the bed. We have to get some full size sheets to go on this bed because the ones we had were WORN OUT by Katie in the years she used this bed, ha ha. We got rid of them they were so bad.

This is the only bed in the room for right now. We plan to use it for guests and for all those times when you just need a place nearer to the baby/toddler/etc when they are sick and etc. We've never had a guest bed, I am very pleased that we finally do! We will put a crib in here later when we get one..no rush on that. We have the co-sleeper in our room beside our bed for now and the near future.

Here's the view from the bed corner. There's still cleaning stuff on the dresser. That's where we plan to put the changing pad. We are big users of the changing pad, and were with both babies. We have hard wood floors in the living room which means we will definitely use it a lot this time around also. We just have to GET a changing pad. One of the very few things we didn't get at our shower.

So...there's the update on the nursery. She won't really be IN there for a while, but we definitely needed this space ready for all her *stuff*. Now I can start cleaning the rest of the house that is currently piled up with all that stuff! :)

Our current to-do list:

1. Get all the baby stuff organized in the baby room.
2. Buy stuff needed still on our must have list. (changing pad for dresser, robe for me, nursing bra, replacement parts for breast pump)
3. Get bags packed for me, baby, and kids. (I have to go re-buy the coming home outfit in a smaller size)
4. Buy supplies we/I need to have on hand post partum at home. (assorted pharmacy and Walmart items)
5. Get the flower bed area in the front yard presentable for post baby visitation.
6. Wash baby clothes/blankets (esp the cloth diapers) to have ready when we get home from the hospital.
7. Finish getting house deep cleaned and keep it up! ha!
8. Get sheets for the bed in the baby room!

36 Weeks!

2011-04-12T06:01:00.000-07:00

THIRTY SIX weeks! Wow! I am really feeling the pressure to finalize everything around here. I know that some things can still be done after Ruby gets here, but....it's nice to have a deadline and make ourselves get it done.
I made a list of what I need to pack for the hospital. I've got a list for my labor/delivery bag, another "staying" bag, the diaper bag for baby stuff, and a list for the kids' bags for wherever they end up while we are at the hospital. I also made a list of stuff I want to be sure to have on hand at home once we get back. I remember trips to the pharmacy for various post partum supplies and want to go ahead and have that done ahead.
Now...I just need to actually get all the stuff and pack the bags!
There are only three "big" things on the list that I need to purchase...a robe, the parts for our breastpump, and a nursing bra. The rest is random little items.
Here's more about week 36:
Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.
At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

35 Weeks

2011-04-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

That really sounds like near the end right?! :)
So, my recent development is nightly, like clockwork...EXTREME heartburn. Almost to the point of vomiting.
I will feel fine all day...then at about 7:30-8pm..it hits. And it is rough. At least if it doesn't go away I only have about 5 more weeks or so.
Here is more about Ruby at 35 weeks:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now thats he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds. Because it's so snug in your womb, she isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times she kicks should remain about the same. Her kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete —s he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Baby Shower!

2011-04-04T16:45:00.000-07:00

The church hosted a baby shower for me/us yesterday. It was wonderful! We got so many useful things for Ruby and had a lot of fun. Here are just a few pictures:

I LOVE shower food. These were yummy YUMMY cake balls! Chocolate cake with pink chocolate coating and white cake with white coating.

A handmade quilt from my mom. She also gave us a big supply of Econobums,

the cloth diapers we plan to use.

This is the gift basket from Corey's mom. A personalized teddy bear sitting in a bouncy seat and on a boppy, surrounded with lots of itty baby goodies.

My mom, me, Katie, and Karen (Corey's mom)

Me and Hannah.

Me and Bethany

PJ!

Chris!

All the girls from church minus Lauren who had already left.

The stash at home! We really got so much great stuff! We are extremely blessed.

Among everything we have diapers, wipes, bathtub, bouncy seat, quilts, burp cloths, outfits, 17 bibs and 19 onesies! Also sleepers, diaper cream, a book, and more!

34 Weeks

2011-03-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

I realized late yesterday that I had not posted the weekly update, so I decided to just wait until after my appointment this morning.
I am up a total of 20 pounds now. My blood pressure is doing well in spite of being high a few times when I checked it at home. Dr. Taylor said everything is measuring right on schedule and he could tell that her head is right in the center and she is head down! That is great news. Hopefully she will stay where she is for the next six weeks. I will do a lot of walking to help that cause.
The biggest annoying symptom right now is that when I wait a long time to pee, then I stand up, it HURTS! As in I can hardly walk to the bathroom, ha ha. I need to not wait so long.
Here is more about week 34:

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

33 Weeks

2011-03-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

In the past couple of days I have made the transition into....discomfort. It's hard to get up after lying down, the acid reflux is worse when I get it, and rolling from side to side in the bed is extremely difficult and hurts.
My hips get VERY sore after laying on one side for part of the night, then I flip over (with extreme discomfort) and lay the other way until I wake up with that hip hurting. I never had the hip pain with the other two pregnancies. I also have muscle ...something...like restless legs. Flexing and tensing helps.
Fun fun fun fun fun! Only 7 more weeks till due date! Here's more about Ruby this week:

This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds and has passed the 17-inch mark. She's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and her skeleton is hardening. The bones in her skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for her to fit through the birth canal. These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as her brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

Baby Bump

2011-03-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest photo of the bump. This is 32, almost 33 weeks.

Consignment Sale Finds!

2011-03-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

Our church consignment sale is this weekend, and I went to the pre-sale last night, for a $5 donation. I didn't want to buy too many clothing items, since I have no idea how big Ruby will be when she is born, or how quickly she will grow, etc. No way to predict what size we will need for the summer, or later on August/September. We will have another sale in September so I'm thinking I will be able to buy much more then for the fall/winter after we know how big she is. I did get a few things though. These three little onesies were only $10 total for all three. They were the only things that really jumped out at me. The one above actually came with the last black one for $4, and the last one is the reason I got the set. :)

This white/beige with vintage lace outfit was $6, and it still had the tags on it. I love the beige-y antique looking lace with the very comfy light white cotton.
And here's the fav:

Super awesome Beatles onesie! Adorable!

I also got a car rearview mirror to view the baby from the driver's seat for $2, brand new in the package.

And a couple of things for Katie and Noah.

I almost snagged a changing pad, one of the contoured types that we loved with Katie and Noah, but a lady had it in her hands looking at it and decided to get it. I was about 2 minutes too late to getting it! ha!

Doctor Doctor!

2011-03-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

I had an uneventful appointment this morning. As far as the baby goes anyway.
It started out with my running late and forgetting my phone. There isn't a better way to know that the dr. will be running behind than when I forget my phone at home.
So, I'm five minutes late, and they are totally packed! They called back about five patients in a row right before me and I ended up waiting a full 30 minutes. I know that doesn't sound like a really long time, but I usually only wait about 5 minutes, tops.
Then....today is an iron check day! I KNEW it would happen today since I ran out of vitamins this past weekend. I knew I should have picked some up before today. My iron level was 10.8, they don't like it to be below 10. Ooops!
The good news is that I only gained 1 pound in the past two weeks....so that 6 pound jump last time must have just been a big growth spurt or something.
It's already 9:40 (my appointment was at 8:45!), and I am getting anxious because Corey has to leave to be at work at 10 and I don't have my phone to text him about what is going on.
The doctor comes in and today, of course, he has a nurse practitioner student with him. Thus, instead of the quick 2 minute visit, it takes a full 5-6 minutes, ha ha.
I get finished, go up to check out and make my next appointment, and no one is at the window except one lady swamped by phone calls. This never happens! I finally get my appointment and am out the door and on the way home by 9:55. No way to call Corey.
When I finally make it home, as I pull into the neighborhood I pass him on the way out, the kids in PJs in the backseat.
He turned around to let them out and I apologize for leaving my phone at home. It was absolutely crazy that my appointment was at 8:45 and I didn't get to leave until a full hour later. It's just so unusual for this office that Corey was kind of worried.
I won't be leaving my phone at home again! And, if the long wait happened to be because I was five minutes late, I will definitely be getting there early from now on!
I'll see them again in 2 more weeks.

32 Weeks

2011-03-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

Wow. 32 Weeks. In just 5 more weeks I will be considered "full term" and it will be pretty safe for her to be born. I am in no hurry though, and not looking for it to happen until at least the due date week.
We talked about managing the "pushing" stage this week in our birth classes. It's surprising to me how little I know about how to handle the whole process, since I was drugged the first two times. I feel that I wasn't drugged while pushing Katie and it was a very difficult process. We have so much more knowledge now to hopefully make that part quicker and less strenuous. One thing I must work on is taking deep breaths. I think I hyperventilated while pushing with Katie...I remember being on oxygen and my chest hurting a lot. I think it's because I was panicked and was doing a lot of shallow breathing.

We went walking last night at the track. It felt so good afterward. It made me breathe better. Katie and I made it around 3 laps while Corey and Noah made it around 5. Noah ran the first two laps without stopping! What stamina! ha ha. He needs to start training and run some 5Ks with grandpa! We would have done more but Noah had to go to the bathroom "really bad" so we needed to get home, ha.

We also finally made a little bit of progress on our house projects. The laundry closet is cleaned and reorganized, the hallway closet, and the kids closet is moved together. The attempt now is to get the toys organized in their room together before the weekend and maybe we can then start on our room and closet.

My baby shower is scheduled for April 3rd. I am excited just because it will be fun to celebrate, and Katie will have a blast, of course. We really only have a couple of things that we *need* before she arrives, one is a pad for the cradle. I have to get to a good craft store for that though. Maybe I can do that in the next week or so because that isn't really something that someone else can buy since it is a custom measurement.

Here is more about week 32:

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

31 Weeks!

2011-03-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

Today marks 31 weeks! Only 9-ish to go! Still feeling full all the time, but hungry, but getting indigestion no matter what I eat.
Bradley class this week really started getting into the nitty gritty....we talked about when to get to the hospital and what signs to look for throughout the first stage of labor when I am dilating. Helpful info!
We still have many things left to do around the house. I'm waiting for the nesting to kick in...it just hasn't yet!
Here's more info on week 31:

This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. She weighs about 3.3 poundsand is heading into a growth spurt. She can turn her head from side to side, and her arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath her skin. She's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

Two Week Appointment

2011-03-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

I had my first "two week" appointment this morning.
I gained SIX pounds in just TWO weeks!!!!! ACK! I'm not sure exactly what I did differently in these past two weeks. But, I definitely resolve to get active and try to drink more water...maybe that will take care of that not happening quite so suddenly again!
On the other hand....My fundal height measured at 32 weeks...two weeks ahead. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, but just something to note. It could even mean she was in breech position today....or she just had a big growth spurt....our babies have never been extremely small really...both 8 pounds. So..who knows? We just gotta get ready! ha ha.
Another thing on our to do list this week is to visit the hospital. I am very excited about doing that. I think it will help me relax a little more about the delivery if I know what to expect!

30 Weeks!

2011-03-01T10:45:00.000-08:00

3/4 of the way there! THIRTY WEEKS! Ten more until "due date" but I am keeping my brain thinking in the "range" mentality. So...it could be anywhere from 8-9, or even 11 more weeks really.
The acid reflux has definitely returned in full force. I have to be very careful about what I eat or I will be completely miserable! NO tomatoes, salsa, or strong spices. I've taken to eating a bowl of ice cream each night before bed, ha ha..but it really does help!!! Seriously! :)
I am headed to the doctor tomorrow....since my visits are now every two weeks. I'm really not excited about that especially since it seems so pointless...they just listen to the heartbeat and weigh me. Blah.
Here's more about week 30:
Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds. A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

Little Sister!

2011-02-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

We got Ruby's coming home outfit tonight! I saw this in a catalog yesterday and went up to see if they had it at the Carter's outlet. They only had ONE left in the size that we needed, and the lady had to get it out of the back for us! Both our babies were born on the cusp of the two small sizes...newborn goes 5-8 lbs and 3 months goes 8-12 lbs..so we went ahead and thought that getting the newborn size would be best. Katie and Noah were both 8 lbs each. Well...anyway...if you want to see it bigger you can click here. The pic is kind of small I know.

29 Weeks

2011-02-22T09:06:00.000-08:00

This past week has definitely left me feeling bigger. I have the feeling of being full all the time when I am sitting pretty much in any position besides lying down stretching out. Ruby is kicking a LOT. The other day she was really low and her kicks were hurting waaaaay down there. Then, last night, not sure where she was, but wherever it was it HURT. I had to roll over on a different side and when she finally moved it was great. I think she must have been pushing on some internal organ that was really very uncomfortable!
We had our second Bradley Class Sunday night. It was fun and informative. The other couple didn't come, so we got to have one on one time and talk about "us" specific issues and questions. Corey has been good about helping me to practice relaxing.
Here is what the internet says about week 29:

Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. Her muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and hers head is growing bigger to make room for her developing brain. To meet her increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because her bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

Rock-a-Bye

2011-02-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my mom went over to where some family members live to pick up some old family furniture. She got a few things, but one item was sent with us in mind. This hand made cradle:

It was made by my great uncle, Ozell Sparks. The husband of my grandmother's sister-in-law. He handcrafted many furniture items. Katie actually has a tiny doll cradle that he made also that used to be mine. He passed away many years ago, but I know he would love that we will be using this cradle for his great-great-niece. It will be just the right size for use as a bassinet for the first few weeks she is home. You can't tell from this picture very well, but it has a shelf underneath that is the perfect size to hold a few storage bins for diapers, blankets, etc. We just have to find a pad, or else make one, to use as a small mattress. I am very excited to have this piece of family furniture for Ruby!

And here is a 28 week photo of my and Ruby. Pretty sure I've grown since the last photo.

28 Weeks

2011-02-15T10:58:00.000-08:00

I have another cold! Blah! I hardly ever get sick but it seems I am picking up every little thing in this nine month period.
We started our Bradley classes on Sunday night. We had lots of fun. Lindsey, our neighbor/friend is the teacher and she is a lot of fun. We learned some stretches that I need to do to get my legs ready for labor. Also, we learned some ways that Corey can help me relax during contractions. Very nice things to know! I am anticipating learning a lot throughout the course and will hopefully gain all the confidence I need to make it through a natural labor and delivery! Here's more week 28 news:

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

Only 12 more weeks till due date time! I am honestly feeling like she won't be here before then. I think it will be sometimes in the week of the due date, but not before. She measured a little smaller at the 20 week ultrasound, so I'm going to keep on thinking toward that time frame and try to not get antsy until after that time.

Essentials

2011-02-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

Today was shopping day!

We are now officially ready for Ruby to come home, since we got our infant car seat! :)

Thanks to a generous Christmas gift from Memaw and Grandaddy, plus an old car seat from my parents that was worth a $50 discount at the Babies R Us Trade-in event, we got all this:

for a VERY reasonable price! :)

On the top is a backpack diaper bag, which looks smaller in that picture than it is in person.

It has an entire zip up area on the side that is insulated. A very neat feature that will come in great use.

You can't see it in the photo on the bottom, but the infant seat has a triangular handle, which makes it extremely easy to carry..especially for short me! You can click here to see the product page and if you scroll down you can see all the features of the stroller set, including an ipod plug in w/speakers on the tray!

We also created a registry while we were in the store. Corey and the kids were very patient with all the shopping we did today. And then the kids got to spend their own Christmas gift money.

Diapers!

2011-02-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

The first big purchase for Ruby has officially been made as of this morning! We ordered.......

diapers!!!!!!
I have been doing a lot of research over the past months. Thought I had settled on one thing, then another.
Finally came to the conclusion after talking to friends that the good old fashioned prefold diapers are the best way to go based on ease of clean/dry, etc.
I was going to go with one brand in particular, but then this morning I found out about a great sale on Econobums brand diapers. They are currently buy one get one free! (buy one diaper and cover, get one diaper and cover free!)
So.....after a brief conversation Corey and I decided to go ahead and order a starter set of these diapers.
12 diapers and 12 covers.
They don't come in as many colors as other brands, but..we got a mix of the pinkish color above, the green, and plain white.
I am SO excited!!!!!
These are also one size..the covers adjust from 8-35 lbs. No pins or velcro needed...you just lay the baby in the flat/prefold diaper, and then fasten the elastic cover around them.
(PS, I might have shared this sale with someone else who went ahead and picked up something for the baby shower...so our starter stash will actually be 24!)

27 weeks

2011-02-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

I feel bigger this week. A lot of people told me that I am really looking pregnant now. It makes me wonder what I've been thinking I looked like the past few months, ha ha. Not much else to share. Hopefully we will be picking up the carseat/stroller combo soon. That's really the only *need* we have. I'm excited about going to Babies R Us to look around, we haven't been at all this whole time!
Here's more:

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

26 Weeks

2011-02-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of very bad pictures taken in the bathroom mirror, ha ha. I pulled my tee shirt up so you can see the bump better. I think I may be a tad bit bigger.
Here's the scoop on week 26:

The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. She may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. She's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of her lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when she's born and takes that first gulp of air. And she's continuing to put on baby fat. She now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches from head to heel.

25 Weeks!

2011-01-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

I have been really sick the past week. Whatever I was getting turned into a horrible cough and I went three straight nights with hardly any sleep because of it! Thankfully it finally let up last night so I am starting to get caught back up on my sleep!
I took a picture this morning because I have been feeling a lot bigger. But, when I put it on my computer and compared it to the last picture, it really didn't look that different. I'm not sure if it's because of the angle or the shirt or what, but I don't get it! I definitely am feeling it on the inside, whether or not it shows on the outside!
Time continues to simply FLY by! Only 15 weeks left to go! Here is more about week 25:

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.

24 Week Appointment

2011-01-19T08:50:00.000-08:00

I had my 24 week doctor's appointment today. It was the dreaded "glucose tolerance test" appointment. At the beginning of the pregnancy I was pretty adamant that I wasn't going to do the test at all. I didn't do it when I was pregnant with Katie or Noah. I cried my way out of it both times because I had recently had a GTT and knew the results, and I was still feeling horribly sick at that point.
Well....I have been feeling fine as far as nausea/vomiting, none. AND, I have been a little bit worried about my blood sugar because of my lack of appetite during the day...it could be related to high blood sugar. So, I went along with the test. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. They only made me drink half the bottle and I didn't feel bad afterward. I hope that isn't a bad sign.
They also drew blood to check my RH anitbodies or something, I have to go back on Monday to get a Rhogam shot. I always have to have the Rhogam shot.
I am still very impressed with this doctor's office. The nurses are so nice. I never have to wait long. My appointment was at 8:45am, I got there a little early and my 9:45 I was leaving...after waiting the hour for the glucose blood draw.
I did, however, meet the first dr. that I wasn't crazy about. She wasn't rude. She just was very businesslike. She seemed in a rush. I guess if there is one dr. I don't like, it is for as little of a reason as just her general personality, not because of anything specific that caused a rift between us.
I go back in 4 weeks, and after that I will start going every two weeks. I can't believe that time is almost here!

24 Weeks

2011-01-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

This week really flew by! I suppose being home bound due to snow and having Corey home from work a few days made the time pass. I currently have pink eye, which is awesome. Corey had it first starting Friday. His got pretty bad, but we were able to get some ointment so at the very first sign I started using it too. I think mine won't get as bad as his did, but my wish most of all is that the kids don't get it! Katie had some signs last week but they went away, so maybe they've avoided it altogether.

Here's more about week 24:

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts her at just over a pound. Since she's almost a foot long, s he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but her body is filling out proportionally and she'll soon start to plump up. Her brain is also growing quickly now, and her taste buds are continuing to develop. Her lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help her air sacs inflate once she hits the outside world. Her skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

A Lullaby

2011-01-16T10:28:00.000-08:00

Katie finally got to feel Ruby moving around and kicking last night! Noah also felt a light kick,but he wasn't as interested in sticking around for more, ha ha.
After feeling her sister kick, Katie went and got a baby book to read her a story:

It was so precious! After the story, Katie decided to sing Ruby a lullaby. She had her hand on my stomach while she was singing and Ruby started kicking BIG TIME. Katie's eyes lit up and it was just a priceless memory that she's been talking about ever since. I am so happy that we are having this baby. Not just because we love and want her, but because of the impact it is going to have on the upbringing of Katie and Noah. This will be a wonderful experience and lesson for them in what it means to be a family.

Scripture Memory

2011-01-15T07:02:00.000-08:00

I wanted to include this post on our baby blog, since right now it is something I am doing in preparation for May. I am participating in a scripture memory team, with the ladies from the Living Proof Ministries blog. The goal is to memorize 24 scriptures in 2011, two for each month. I decided to join and start memorizing some scripture I could take with me into childbirth. We are starting Bradley classes on February 13th, and it is our goal to have a natural childbirth. I figured that scripture wouldn't be a bad thing to have on hand for the experience. :)
I have already been working on my first verse for January 1st-15th:

1 Samuel 1:27

For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him

My verses for the second part of January are quite a bit more lengthy, but as soon as I read it I knew it was a passage I had to learn:

Isaiah 43:1-3

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the water I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.

The flames will not set you ablaze.

23 Weeks

2011-01-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

Another week gone by! It really is flying now...it seems that one week goes by so much more quickly now than it did in the beginning! I guess that's because I'm not passing the hours laying on the couch and feeling horrible.
I am still feeling pretty well. My appetite has changed a lot recently....as in, I'm not really hungry much.
I wake up and I am not starving. Then I get to feeling like I need to eat (still not starving) by lunch. Then, by late afternoon/evening, the thought of eating dinner just makes me sick. I don't feel sick or nauseated, but I just don't feel hungry AT ALL. It's the strangest thing. And when I do eat, I don't want more than a few bites.
The only time I eat any significant amount of food is when it is something that just sounds really good and I would eat regardless of how hungry I felt, ha ha.
Here is more about week 23:

How your baby's growing:

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound, you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb.

Just about another month and we'll be in the third trimester!!!

22 Weeks

2011-01-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

We are back to school this week...actually tomorrow, but Noah starts his extracurricular class today, Katie starts hers Thursday. Today it really jumped out to me that we have less time to go than we have put in so far...as in...a countdown. 22 weeks over, 18 to go (maybe less?). We have a TON to get done around here. I have cleaning out, organizing, and planning to do. I haven't taken medication for sickness in a couple of weeks now, maybe once in that time. The energy is slowly coming back. I have days that I get a ton done, then days when I take two naps and feel beat all day.

Here's more about week 22:

At 11 inches, and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. Her lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and she's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath her gums. Her eyes have formed, but her irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her body and the deep wrinkles on her skin, which she'll sport until she adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside her belly, her pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

21 Weeks

2010-12-28T10:11:00.000-08:00

This week definitely flew by! The excitement of finding out we are having a girl is still fresh. We get to call her "Ruby" all the time now, which makes it all seem more real. It is such a change going from "him/her" and "the baby" to "Ruby."
She is just hanging out, kicking a lot, rolling around, and growing! Time is going to fly I think. We have so much to do to get ready, and with receiving several gifts at the party and for Christmas, we need to get a closet cleaned out soon! I hope to buy something ourselves soon for her...we haven't bought a thing!

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now.

The Big Reveal!

2010-12-23T18:31:00.000-08:00

The beautiful cake!

Made by Heaven Scent Cakes in Cartersville. Until we cut the cake, the baker and the doctor were the only ones who knew the big news! The proof picture was locked up in the glove box of my car all night.

We had everyone write their names on the big pink or blue baby decorations according to their prediction when they arrived to the party.

We placed the cake out on the table and my mom noticed that the icing was beginning to wrinkle on one side....so we quickly put it back in the fridge so it wouldn't slide down and spoil the surprise! Hannah was standing guard!

Me and my mom

Cutting........

And..........

It's a GIRL!!!!!

A beautiful, delicious pink cake to celebrate the big news.

The vote was completely split, 10 voted for boy, 10 voted for girl.

I didn't vote. :)

Then lots of yummy food (compliments of my mom! thanks!) and fellowship with our closest friends and family!

Corey and his bff

Bethany shooting up the insulin before partaking in a piece of cake.

Christi, Aggie, Me, and Bethany

The kids waiting to leave.

This was one of the most exciting things we've ever done! Several people asked how in the world we were able to resist "cheating" and looking at the picture. To me, it wasn't that difficult, because we had such a fun party planned and were looking forward to sharing it with everyone.

After we cut the cake I got out the picture that the doctor had sealed up for us.

It is definitely 100% a GIRL no doubt! ha ha ha! I won't post that picture for you, ha ha.

So....we are all thrilled! The absolute best news we got yesterday of course, when we got the clean bill of health for the little one. But, the joy is just added in knowing that a sweet little girl is headed our way in May.

Her name will be

Ruby Faith.

It's a Boy or a Girl!

2010-12-22T09:14:00.000-08:00

And here is his/or her beautiful profile!

The scan went fantastic today!!!!!!

All the parts are present and accounted for. The lady who did the scan is also one of the doctors. She did not make fun of all my nerdy envelopes and requests. I was kind of anxious about that part, ha ha. Sometimes ultrasound people act like they hate their jobs, so I was very please with the experience.

I had an envelope with a piece of paper to mark for the bakery people. I also had an envelope for the gender pics to seal up until tomorrow night. And I had one more envelope with pictures like the one above with no revealing information showing.

We were able to watch the entire thing and she told us when to look away to keep the gender a surprise. She was able to get the gender shots easily I am assuming because it only took a couple of minutes and she was done and we were able to look again. She was so great!

The results were sealed in the appropriate envelope and we took it straight to the bakery.

I am very thankful and relieved that the baby is growing well and looks perfect!

And we get to enjoy more excitement tomorrow night as we find out if we have a little girl or boy coming our way in May! :)

20 Weeks!

2010-12-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

We're halfway there! Tomorrow is the big ultrasound and we'll get to see the little one bouncing around. Hopefully we won't see any "goods" accidentally so the cake reveal will remain a surprise even to us. We plan to take the results straight to the bakery so we can get the cake made in time for the party on Thursday night.
Here's more about 20 weeks:

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)
He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

I will probably update again after the ultrasound in the morning.

Fatigue!

2010-12-18T15:23:00.000-08:00

So, how do you tell if you are just super tired and fatigued as a normal pregnancy symptom, or if you are anemic?
The thought had not even occurred to me until today when I posted about my extreme tiredness on the babycenter birth board.
I can't believe I didn't think of it before, because I always seem to think of it for other people when they have the same symptoms!
I have always been great about taking vitamins. I love salads and healthy foods. But I have not been very good about either one of those things since about 8 weeks along. I know...BAD me! The vitamins were making my sickness MUCH worse so I got out of the habit. And I've not been making up for it very much with my diet since even with the sickness gone my appetite has still been really picky.
So....I guess I am going back to the pills today. If it will help me be more functional and less extremely fatigued and help me be healthier, then I really need to do it. Please pray that the vitamins won't make me sick again!

19 Weeks!

2010-12-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

Almost halfway there!
In just a little over a week we will know BOY OR GIRL and can hopefully start calling him/her by a name. That is, unless it's a boy then Corey and I will have to hire a mediator before we can decide on the name.
Here's more about week 19:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.
Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

I am still feeling pretty good, but have started being uncomfortable at night, so I don't sleep well. I don't recall this happening so early before. My hips get sore from laying on my side but I can't lay on my back because it isn't long before I am extremely uncomfortable in that position. Tummy sleeping is totally out now. I am getting a snoogle for Christmas and am counting down the days in hopes that it will make a big difference in my sleep habits!

The View From 18 Weeks

2010-12-09T15:06:00.000-08:00


In exactly two weeks I'll be posting the big news: BOY OR GIRL?!?! Our ultrasound is on December 22nd...a year TO THE DATE of this post and when we got the devastating news confirming our first miscarriage. How sweet that God timed our year this way!

18 Weeks!

2010-12-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

Another week with no posts in between! We are just hanging out and doing the school thing these days. We drove down to see Fantasy in Lights at Callaway Gardens this past weekend. I had to take two pills that day, but for the most part I am only needing 1 a day now and feeling good most of the time. Here is all about the sweet potato this week:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long, and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

Just two more weeks until the big ultrasound and the reveal party. We have a lot to keep us busy so it will go by quickly!

17 Weeks

2010-11-30T11:31:00.000-08:00

Wow! No posts between weeks 16 and 17! Well, it isn't because life has been quiet. We all had a stomach bug over Thanksgiving weekend. It was AWFUL! I wasted a lot of my medicine because I kept throwing it up.... before we realized it was actually a bug. No medicine would have helped. We are all better now...hope that never returns!
Here is all about week 17, the week of the onion:

Your baby's skeleton is changing-- from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now, and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

Less to say this week. I am feeling movement pretty much daily now. More often after I eat, and more if I eat something sweet. We heard the heartbeat the other day at home loud and clear...it was super fast like a galloping horse! Now I've read a lot that says a galloping heartbeat and anything over 140 is usually a girl... so my instincts may have been wrong in the beginning! I can hardly wait for the big surprise party to find out!

16 Weeks!

2010-11-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it! 16 weeks seems like real progess! ha ha! Here's all about the week of the avocado:

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now,he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Up and Down

2010-11-22T20:02:00.000-08:00

My sickness has really been unpredictable recently. As of last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I was feeling much worse! I even woke up in the middle of the night a few times and had to get up and take one of my pills. NOT good!
Then...all of a sudden yesterday afternoon I felt much better! I even skipped taking a pill at lunch today and none this evening and still feel great.
Who knows?!?!? Maybe it's really related to when the hormones make a big jump. Or diet related. I've been drinking more orange juice and eating more sugar recently....and that seems to have helped?!?!?! Could be sugar dips making me sick?
I have no idea, but all I know is I feel much better today!

Boy or Girl?!

2010-11-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

This morning's appointment went GREAT!
As usual, I was called right back, and on my way into the back area I noticed that there was a flyer and business cards displayed advertising Bradley classes! YAY! This doctor will be supportive of Bradley natural childbirth, which is our goal! I had heard some horror stories about some doctor's not approving of patients who take Bradley classes because they end up being very educated and opinionated about the birth experience. It was a big relief to see that they are supportive of this method! Also, they were completely fine and non-pushy about my turning down the down's and cystic fibrosis screenings.
The heartbeat was found quickly and easily....measured in the 150s.
And, we scheduled the 20 week appointment and ULTRASOUND! YAY!
We are planning a party to reveal "boy or girl" for our family and friends...and us too!
The plan is to take the results (picture) to a bakery and they will make the inside of the cake pink or blue. We will all find out at the party when we cut in to the cake!
I've already reserved the church for the party, ordered the cake, and sent out evites.
What will we do if for some reason they can't tell boy or girl? Well...the party is scheduled the day after the ultrasound so we will have time to cancel. And I'll just get the cake made with Christmas decorations instead and we'll take it to a Christmas gathering. :)
Five weeks until the next appointment. Which also means only FIVE weeks until CHRISTMAS people!

15 Weeks!

2010-11-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

The week of the orange!
I am positive that I felt the baby moving yesterday! I have felt a few flutters here and there previously, but there was no mistaking it this time. It was very neat!
I am feeling much better. The doctor prescribed Reglan, and it has been a wonder drug!!!! Works much better than Zofran did for me. I am happy to have something that I know will work even will I feel my worst! Not sure if I am to the point of feeling better without it, I haven't been brave enough to try.
Here are the facts about week 15:

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces. She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

My appointment is tomorrow morning. We should be scheduling the "big" ultrasound so we will know when to expect to find out boy or girl!!!!

Back to the Drawing Board

2010-11-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

I have been MISERABLY sick today! Worse than I have been this entire pregnancy. Threw up everything I ate all day.
I guess I'm going to go back to the Unisom at night. That seemed to be working out okay before.
Corey is picking up the prescription my dr. gave me last time but it is for Reglan. I really did not want to take that drug because of what I've read about it. But, I am so miserable right now that I may take it just to see if I can get back to the Unisom routine working. I can't even keep down a chewable antacid! UGH!

14 Weeks

2010-11-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

How am I feeling at 14 weeks? Well...right now, I feel pretty good. The sickness hits mostly late at night right now. But, I haven't been throwing up at all anymore.
I skipped my nightly b6 and unisom for the first time in MANY weeks last night. I was taking it at night because that was helping me feel better during the day, but I thought maybe since I was feeling better anyway, that perhaps it wasn't helping much anymore and could just be making me lethargic and feel worse now. We'll see how that goes today.
I will be needing to buy some maternity clothes soon. I am so reluctant to do that, so reluctant to buy anything actually. I still just can't believe it I think. As much as we are planning and as sick as I've felt I just truly still can't believe it's happening! ha ha.

We are in the week of the lemon:

This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.
In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches, and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

I go to the doctor next week! I am very much looking forward to it!!!!

Second Trimester

2010-11-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

I guess I am officially in the second trimester now! 40 weeks divided by 3 is 13.3....not sure how that would translate into days, but I am 13 weeks and 4 days, so pretty sure I am there by now.
I felt really great last week, as I mentioned in my previous post, but something has changed in the past 3-4 days. I have felt very nauseous and even threw up again one night this week. Antacid seemed to help, and yesterday I felt great again, but today back to bad. Oh well.
It's probably from sugar. Sugar has been making me feel really miserable. Last night Corey made homemade Rice Krispy Treats per my request and that's probably why I feel so bad today.
We started the pre work on the kids room rearrangement today.
After a lively conversation about which room would work best for what purpose (baby or kids sharing) we decided that Katie's current room will be the room that Katie and Noah will share together. And Noah's room will be a play room/catch all until we get the basement play room finished, at which point Noah's room will be turned into a baby room/nursery/guest bedroom.
Katie currently has a full sized bed. It is very cute, painted black, but distinctly a girl's bed. If we find out we are having a girl, we will use her bedroom suit in the nursery as a spare bed (anyone whose ever had a baby/todder will know how valuable an extra bed in the nursery can be) and it can be used for anyone who comes to help when the baby is here. The dresser can even be used as a changing spot by just adding a pad. And, if we're having a boy, we'll just look for a cheap alternate headboard to go with the set and we already have the dresser/changing table we used with Katie and Noah which is unisex. It will be nice to have an extra bed. Especially since the kids are each getting their own loft/bunks for Christmas, we will have plenty of room for company now!
Speaking of the loft/bunks, I am excited about the kids new room. We are planning to do a rock and roll theme bedroom and they will each have a canopy/tent over the top loft area which will be a book/reading/quiet/private area for each of them since they will be sharing a room.
Our goal is to have the kids moved together in their new rooms for Christmas, then focus on the basement play room. Then, we will have next summer to work on the nursery/baby room. What does a 7 month old really *need* for Christmas anyway? I think a room of their own would be a great Christmas gift project for him/her! :)
We are not even going to pretend that we will need a nursery before the baby is actually here, or even immediately after he/she arrives, ha ha. We have a bedside co-sleeper that we used with Noah, and there is plenty of room in our bedroom for a small crib until we get a nursery done. Since I nursed both Katie and Noah for a full year and being in the room with us works out great for us until they sleep through the night, we aren't going to waste time and energy preparing a nursery when what we REALLY need is a playroom for the kids!
In all honestly, the nursery will probably be functional by then most likely...as in a space for a crib and chair or something, but it's definitely not on our current to-do list. Our "must-haves" for the baby's arrival consist of very few things:
1. car seat
2. diapers (newborn only, natural, we are going to cloth after the newborn stage)
3. wipes
4. sleepers/clothes
5. blankets

13 Weeks

2010-11-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

I have felt really well the past week. Especially compared with how I was feeling before. I haven't had to take any medication other than my nightly unisom and b6 (suggested by the dr) because late at night I tend to start feeling pretty badly. I am extremely tired and taking a nap most afternoons. If I don't eat every few hours I start to feel bad also. But as long as I stay on top of snacking I feel pretty good.
I am almost into the second trimester. I can't believe it. I know the holidays are going to make things just seem to fly into the late second and even third trimester. It will be here before I know it.
This is the week of the peach. I definitely feel my insides shifting around. It's almost exactly two weeks until my next appointment.

Here is the run down of week 13:

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long and weighs nearly an ounce. This is the last week of your first trimester, and your risk of miscarriage is now much lower than earlier in pregnancy. Next week marks the beginning of your second trimester, a time of relative comfort for many women who see early pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness and fatigue subside.

12 Weeks

2010-10-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

12 weeks! My sickness has now settled into an evening event. Better than all day I suppose.

I am already looking forward to my next appointment! But it won't be for another 3 weeks.

I ordered a fetal doppler and it came on Saturday. I tried for a while on Saturday and Sunday, but couldn't find the heartbeat at home. But I really didn't stress. Very early yesterday morning I got woke up by a bad storm, and my bladder was very full so I got up and tried at that point. And I found it! Just beating away like crazy!
I am only going to let myself check it once a week though, IF I am super worried. I just like having the ability to check it if I want to.
Here's some more info about week 12: the week of the plum!

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs half an ounce.

Baby Update

2010-10-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well....this little one is growing!!!!
I had my second appointment today. I still love this practice. I was in and out in less than half an hour!
The doctor came in, and said we'll try to find the heartbeat, but sometimes it's difficult at just 11 weeks.
She searched around a little bit and we kept hearing my own heartbeat.
Then, all of a sudden, there it was!
Loud and clear!
Strong, beautiful, rapid baby heart beating away!
The doctor said, "I can see the change on your face" and she laughed.
Words cannot explain the relief I felt at that moment. She listened for a bit and said it was in the 150s she would guess. Nothing scientific, ha ha.

I think I will be allowing myself to really get excited now. I just can't believe it!!!!
I've never been so excited to NOT get an ultrasound at an OB appointment!

Reprieve (11 weeks)

2010-10-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

I have felt pretty "okay" the past few days. On Sunday I felt well enough to drive us out to Rome for lunch at The Olive Garden. The soup, salad, and breadsticks were soooooooo delicious! Then, we went to Toys R Us to pick up some of Katie's birthday party supplies, then came home and I cleaned up a good bit around the house.
Yesterday I felt pretty well too, but not quite as good as Sunday. I was back to the cheese grits, but no throwing up and no medication!
The only thing I have been doing differently is sticking to taking the B6 and Unisom at night. And I've kept a banana by the bed at night and take a bite when I wake up any during the night.
It's good to not feel awful ALL the time!
I go back to the doctor tomorrow and I am very anxious to get in there and see that everything is still good. I have every confidence that with everything still going well at 11 weeks, I will be able to relax.

11 weeks! Only 2 weeks away from the second trimester... I can hardly believe it! The size of a lime now...here's the rest:

Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day

2010-10-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

Remembering all my friends and people I know who've experienced the loss of a pregnancy or newborn.

May God bless you today!

Independence

2010-10-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Out of necessity, the kids have become a lot more independent lately. Especially in the area of getting their own food prepared. Katie is great at making toast with butter and toppings for herself. They can operate the microwave with supervision from the other room. :)
Now, if I could only figure out a way that they could pour their own milk, then breakfast would be a breeze! Milk is something that is very tricky though, unless the jug is almost empty. Hmmmm.....

10 weeks!

2010-10-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

I am 10 weeks along as of yesterday! I feel.....AWFUL! ha ha. I thought I felt bad before, but let me tell you, 10 weeks has hit me HARD! Yesterday was the worst day yet. Threw up after every meal until I took Zofran. I was able to keep dinner down after that but still felt completely sick.

I am trying to make my medicine last until I go to the doctor one week from today. I cannot explain how excited/anxious/nervous/relieved I will be to go to the doctor again. We will either 1. hear the heartbeat on their doppler OR 2. see the baby/heartbeat on an ultrasound.

Very much looking forward to it. And looking forward to this week being OVER!
Corey is still being completely the BEST husband ever. Keeping up with everything, cooking, cleaning up. I help when I can, like last Sunday I felt okay after taking some medicine so I helped straighten and clean before company came over.

10 weeks means we are 1/4 way through. Hard to believe! The baby is now the size of a prune. Just over an inch head to rump, and all the vital organs are present! Here is the summary from babycenter.com:

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.
If you could take a peek inside your womb you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.
In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size— to nearly 3 inches.

No.

2010-10-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

That would be a negative on the previous post titled: "Better?"

It's back. And with a vengeance. ha ha.
Warning: TMI ahead!!!!!

I've officially found the MOST disgusting thing that a person can throw up: salad.

Better?

2010-10-09T06:41:00.000-07:00

I have felt a LOT better the past two days. I didn't even need to take any medicine yesterday, and was able to have a fun evening out with the family on top of it!
Of course, this has me worried to death! But, I am going to try and enjoy it, and be productive because either way sitting around worrying won't help anyone around here!
Maybe the sickness has run its course. That would be great and welcome! Just in time for fall, holidays, and yummy food!
I am very much looking forward to going into the doctor on the 20th. I really feel that after seeing confirmation again I will be able to relax...a LOT!

Bragging Rights

2010-10-06T08:59:00.001-07:00

I have to brag on my awesome husband right now.
He got up this morning and put a roast in the slow cooker, after getting the kitchen tidied up.
He has been cooking dinner every night and taking care of the kitchen chores. Also, he's been doing laundry, folding, putting away, and cleaning the bathrooms on the weekends.
It is such a relief to have all the basics taken care of these days! I am so appreciative and I don't know how I am going to survive when he has to go out of town for work next time. He has said he would get some food ready for us before he goes.
Anyway..... I just love my husband. He's a great guy and I am so very thankful that he doesn't mind taking care of things while I am feeling so horribly.

Sick Sick Sick

2010-10-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't been as bad as my first pregnancy. But, it's definitely getting worse as the weeks go by. I will be 9 weeks tomorrow!
I finally got some medication (Zofran) on Friday. But they only gave me 12 pills, so I am trying my best to use them sparingly though I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to do that.
I used two on Saturday so we could enjoy a day out together as a family.
Then yesterday, I felt great most of the day. I didn't even take one all morning before church and felt great, went out to lunch, but it started getting worse in the afternoon and by last night I was feeling really awful again.
This morning, breakfast was um.... not successful I guess is a nice way of putting it.
I have Bible study tonight so I will take another pill this evening so that I can make it through that without running out. ha ha.
Ah, the joy of morning/all day/night sickness!

Uuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

I am so miserably sick! I am still not constantly puking, but still feel just as bad. I never knew I could feel this close and near to puking and not actually do it!

I think the reason I haven't is because I have had some nausea medication from a friend that I have taken just in time each time I feel it is about to start. But I only have one of those left. I will need to take it today so I can stomach driving the kids to Woodstock and back for their classes. Then.... who knows?

Settling In

2010-09-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

I am having a difficult time settling in to the whole "being pregnant" thing. I think I truly still can't believe it is happening!

I wanted to post a little bit about my impressions of the doctor's office I ended up choosing. I actually chose one that I had not talked on the phone to or gotten references for. ha ha!
There are no midwives in the Calhoun area. The nearest midwives are in Dalton. And since I am determined to give birth at Gordon Hospital, I was limited on what I could do as far as doctor's go. The deciding factor came with considering what was more important to me...the hospital or the doctor. I decided that the hospital is more important to me. I plan on being in control of what is going on and really the doctors don't do that much for you anyway in the big scheme of a birth. It is mostly the nurses and facilities that become the biggest memory you love or hate.
Gordon Hospital is a faith centered facility. They have Bible verses posted on their walls, are very supportive of prayer, and it just has a great feel when you walk in. (I visited the other day). Also, I looked at their nursery pages and they have maybe 15 babies born per month there. Although that might make for bored nurses needing to be in your business, I choose to believe it will be outweighed by the benefit of having not overworked nurses.
The choices for OBs in Cahoun were two places. A place that is a single female dr. practice, and a place with three doctors and a nurse practitioner, three out of four being female. As much as having one single doctor see me the entire time sounds good, I did read one thing online about someone saying that she likes to schedule her patients on days that are convenient for her. Which...obviously...would be an issue if you were the only doctor in an ob office. So....

I went with Calhoun Ob/Gyn Associates. The first time I called I was on hold for a bit and noticed that they play Christian music over their speakers. The lady who made my appointment was very nice and when I called the VERY NEXT DAY to try and come in early because I was having bad symptoms, they saw me the same day!

I saw Dr.Joni Yamamoto. She was very nice. They were efficient. I had a complete exam (they snuck that in because I hadn't had one in over a year! ha ha!) and an ultrasound and bloodwork. I was leaving exactly an hour after my appointment time! I think that was pretty good!

Another plus about this office is that Dr. Yamamoto is also a general health physician so she can take care of anything else that goes on (colds, other issues) while I am there as well.

OH, and the office is GORGEOUS! It feels like you are in a designer home rather than a doctor's office. There are pictures on the website, but they still don't do it justice. The virtual tour shows a little more of the lobby area...just plain gorgeous!

I am happy with the office so far. But anyone who knows me knows that I am subject to change my mind on that at any time! ha ha!

Completely Shocked!

2010-09-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

I am completely and totally 100% shocked right now! We went to the dr. today prepared for bad news again. I had resigned myself to another miscarriage. Even took down all the banners from my blog and unjoined all my babycenter groups. And I got SURPRISED!

WE SAW A HEARTBEAT!

I am measuring at 7 weeks, 1 day.

The symptoms I am having are the "normal" kind. Something I never had experienced of late.

I am completely grateful, completely blessed, and completed in awe of how our completely amazing God answers prayer.

Due Date: May 10th

No

2010-09-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

Well....I guess making an appointment with the doctor messed me up.

It started last night. I don't even know what to think. But I know this has to be best. When I told Katie the news, I stressed that we didn't know for sure and that God's plan is always best. And I have to still believe that.

I will go on to the doctor because I will need a Rho-Gam shot.

I may try to go sooner though.

Doctor Appointment

2010-09-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

I got the information I needed today to make my doctor's appointment.

I am going October 4th, at 1:15pm.

It has made me a little nervous to actually have an appointment. They've never gone well before. But I think this one will.

Telling the Kids

2010-09-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

I told the kids Thursday. I had gotten really sick the night before, and was near death's door (ha ha, a slight exaggeration, but as close as I've felt recently anyway) on Thursday. They were being less than helpful and starting to whine....a LOT. Noah said he thought he was getting what I had.

So, I told them. No, Noah, you AREN'T getting what Mommy's got. You won't catch it from me.

I told them that I thought I was going to have a baby, and that's why I have been so sick. But, we have to wait until we go to the doctor to know for sure, to make sure everything is good. When someone is going to have a baby one of the things that sometimes happens is that the mom gets really sick at the beginning.

They have been complete and total angels ever since I told them. Katie has been waiting on me hand and foot. Frequently reminding me to be sure and go to the bathroom if I am going to throw up. Noah has been crafting things for the baby...a toy mobile for the crib Katie made for the bedroom out of her My Twinn box.

They stopped fighting. And now I can refuse to make microwave popcorn with a satisfying explanation (it makes Mommy think she's going to throw up) and I'm not just the mean Mommy who doesn't want to do anything. ha ha.

Katie was stressing about getting everything ready. I told her it would be a long time if everything goes okay, it would be May. I got on the babycenter website and showed them some pictures of the developing baby throughout and why it takes so long. She was slightly fascinated and Noah just thought it was weird.

So there you go. Of course, it made me have a slight panic attack about telling them, that I would be even more sad now if things don't work out...for their sake.

We told them about the pregnancy the first time, and they were pretty sad about the loss. They even mentioned it when August came around. Noah told me that he wished we could have had our baby. And Katie mentioned.."I thought we were going to have a baby in August."

We didn't tell them about the second miscarriage. It happened at a time that they were pretty busy with the church musical practices and we weren't having to do school each day. Plus, Corey was coming home and that helped cover me with any sickness. Corey has been out of town since last Sunday, and the sickness has hit me hard this week while he has been gone, so it was harder to do it all and cover the fact that I felt like dirt.

I expressed the need to be cautious, and that we would tell "everyone" after we check on the baby at the doctor.

I think it was a good decision.

Ole! Babay!

2010-09-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

I had very "stereotypical" cravings when I was pregnant with Katie and Noah. I wanted sugar ALL THE TIME with Katie. I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...(it was my last meal right before I went to the hospital with her), Lucky Charms by the box...birthday cake...chocolate...anything.

With Noah, I wanted Mexican food. Not "good" Mexican food....bean burritos from Taco Bell.

I threw up my bland baked potato this week, but have relished black beans with tortillas twice and just now had take out Mexican food from our local restaurant. Feeling on the edge of puking right before eating it...it was like medicine for my tummy! ha ha!

Last night I also felt on the verge of sickness, but greatly enjoyed an Outback special steak, fries, and bloomin' onion.

So...I guess if someone MADE me guess a gender...I would have to guess boy. :)

ON!

2010-09-15T16:13:00.000-07:00

Mark it down. First REAL sickness this evening. After dinner.

Thankful that it was baked potato night. ;)

Off and On

2010-09-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

It seems that the "like clockwork" afternoon evening sickness only lasted a couple of days. Then, I had a day when it wasn't so bad. Now...it's coming and going all hours.
According to the calculators I am 6 weeks, but I am pretty sure it's 7. In the next 3-4 weeks the sickness should hit the all time high, so I am really hoping it doesn't get tremendously worse, and if it does, that is only stays for that allotted amount of time. I would really love to enjoy some GOOD EATS come holiday time...with no hiding the pooch!

Sickness

2010-09-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

Afternoon/Evening sickness has set in. It started Friday night. I felt awful all night.
Then, Saturday, I was okay during the day, even had less symptoms waking up, but then at about 4:00pm until 6:30pm I felt HORRIBLE. As in, I ran to the toilet thinking I was going to throw up but didn't. Then off and on really bad the rest of the evening.
Yesterday, around 3:30pm, it hit me hard. I was shaking, feeling extremely nauseated, didn't even feel like moving. I never threw up but wished that I could. At around 6:30pm it suddenly lifted and I felt fine for dinner. Well...I felt good for making waffles..a mild and easy dinner.
Today, I am preparing to not feel well at dinner time. I will be at Bible study, the first night, so I hope I can make it okay. Praying that this isn't the night that the puke actually makes an appearance. I cooked a meal for lunch in preparation for a very light dinner for the kids since we won't be home and I am pretty sure I won't feel like cooking anything anyway.
I would love to spend a Saturday making freezer meals for the upcoming weeks. Or, I could cook several nights meals for the week and put them in the fridge.
It's so weird because yesterday, and today, I woke up a little nauseated, but ate breakfast and then felt really great. I don't even feel pregnant at all. A little worry hit me like, "I hope everything is still okay!"
Then...the afternoon comes... like a ton of bricks...and yeah...now THAT'S what I remember "pregnant" feeling like ha ha. I won't complain though. No food has come back up yet, and I can still eat and get school work and housework done in the mornings.

I hope that the sickness means that everything is healthy with the baby!

Postings 9/11/10

2010-09-11T17:39:00.001-07:00

I have been writing posts over the past week, but not publishing them until I knew that everyone who would read the blog and "needed to know" knew beforehand.

I dated them so you can read back and see what's been going on here in baby blog world. It is an exciting, yet nervous time for me.

It is completely unfair what having a miscarriage (or two) does for your confidence in a new pregnancy. I am constantly arguing against my hopeful thoughts with disclaimers of "we'll see" and I find myself really overreacting to very minor symptoms. Things that if a miscarriage had never happened would be totally FINE.

But, I am forever changed, and I can't help that. I just stay in prayer that I can be patient and trusting.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I may regret saying this later... but I THINK I wish that I would start throwing up. It's supposed to be a good sign. :)

Feeling Weird 9/11/10

2010-09-11T09:23:00.001-07:00

September 11, 2010

I got up feeling different today. Some symptoms were completely gone, while others had appeared in its place.

I came the very closest to actually throwing up that I have so far.

Still trying to remain hopeful. I will be relieved when we can get our paperwork all sorted out and I can go to the doctor. It will be time by then to be able to see something. I truly hope we see something this time around!!!!

THANK YOU LORD! 9/8/10

2010-09-08T12:23:00.001-07:00

September 8, 2010

The insurance situation is WORKED OUT above and beyond in our favor and I am thankful thankful THANKFUL!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

Oh, wow. 9/7/10

2010-09-07T19:01:00.001-07:00

September 7, 2010

I am feeling....very sick.

I have had feelings of nausea. When I would start getting hungry. Then it would go away.

Then it started to be indigestion after dinner.

Yesterday and today I have been feeling immediately worse after eating, and having bad indigestion regardless of the type of food.

And now.... tonight. It is even worse. I feel very near to throwing up.

On the plus side: This is encouraging me that this could be a healthy pregnancy.

On the downside: IT STINKS TO FEEL SICK! AGH! ha ha ha!

Thank you Lord, for this baby. Thank you Lord, for assurance of its health via sickness. Thank you Lord, for stuff that will hopefully make me feel better when and if I figure out what that is!

Hope 9/5/10

2010-09-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

September 5th, 2010

Here we are with that word again. A got a message on facebook today from my neighbor, who is a Bradley instructor. She said that she was contacted by someone who is due in April, and combined with me she will be definitely starting a course of Bradley classes about the time that would be perfect for us to participate! Taking Bradley classes, and preparing for a natural childbirth is something I really wanted to do something this time around. I was hoping it would be convenient with her class schedule.

It looks like this might be working out well this time around. I am feeling great, other than the slight cramping, no other worrisome symptoms. I know it has only been a few days, but every single day that goes by with nothing bad happening, is amazing to me. It's crazy how the experiences I've had has completely and totally changed my outlook on pregnancy. I never worried about my pregnancy with Katie and Noah...not the ultrasounds, nothing.

I truly know where my strength comes from. Since I know the joy and pain from both possible outcomes, I know I will survive and be okay regardless. But I can't help becoming more, and more, and more hopeful every day.

I keep having bad dreams when I sleep. I dream that I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and start miscarrying. I dream that I am at the doctor getting bad test results. They aren't waking me up or anything, but it is GREAT to wake up and realize that it was just a bad dream.

Another symptom that I guess must be pregnancy related: I have been an early bird the past few mornings. Waking up at 6am, not able to go back to sleep. I gave up this morning, and when I woke up just went ahead and got up. I guess I should just be up and productive rather than lying in the bed being miserable at trying to go back to sleep.

That's my daily update. I guess I will check in again after a few days.

Positive 9/4/10

2010-09-04T17:10:00.000-07:00

September 4th, 2010

I don't know when I will post this, but I do want to go ahead and get my thoughts out there.

September 1, I got a positive on a home pregnancy test. The reason I took the test was because I was cramping and wanted to take my fav. pain reliever: Aleve! Well, you can't take Aleve when you are pregnant, so I wanted to go ahead and take a test so I could take some medicine.

Lo and behold..it was positive. A very faint positive.

The next morning I took another one. Again: positive.

We canceled my insurance with Kaiser to be effective this month. Wouldn't you know?

I knew Corey would be extremely stressed out because of it, so I didn't tell him right away. He had also had a stressful few days at work as well.

I was feeling.....weird. Not stressed. Not sick. Just extremely tired, crampy, and weird because I was feeling weird. I can't explain it.

The due date would be May 11th, Corey's birthday.

I finally told him yesterday. On the phone while he was at work. He was stressed at first, like I figured he would be, but after talking a while we both seemed a little better off. I cried while I was talking to him, I think because I had not let myself really react yet.

My immediate feelings were, "Well, we'll see."

I know God has seen me to this point, and through this point, and He will continue to see me through. I am hopeful.

I feel fine, just tired. The cramps come and go, but there have been no symptoms like I had before when I was at this point. Other than that though, I actually have less pregnancy symptoms than I had the other times. I am getting some indigestion easily. But really the main symptom is complete exhaustion...wanting to sleep 2-3 times during the day.

We told our mothers, and a few close friends. We will wait a while to tell anyone else.

Friday night I took another test. This time I stopped at Walmart and picked up one of the digital "yes or no" tests. I had never used one of them. I was always squinting and comparing and looking for the second pink line.

It takes a little longer for the digital answer to show,but when it did, my heart skipped a beat. There is nothing like a clear "Yes+" showing up to give you a real boost of happiness/hope/trepidation/fear/excitement.

I don't plan on going to the doctor at least until I've made it through next month. I have also contacted Gordon Hospital to see if they offer discounts to prepay cash patient. Pray for us on that aspect. From what I've read, it can actually cost about the same to be a cash patient or an insurance patient, barring no complications.

So many things to consider. Right now, I am trying to not make too many plans, but it is hard. I am still in disbelief, but trying to hope and believe.

Then Sings My Soul

2010-08-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

This week would have been the due date for our first miscarried baby. August 18, 2010. This is my song for the week. Though I faced unspeakable loss and sadness, He came to my rescue and brought me to where He was. It was worth it all and always will be.

My Thirties

2010-08-05T13:04:00.000-07:00

I think in the back of my mind, or way down in the bottom of my heart really...I've been holding onto the fact that we would have another baby before I turned 30.

And... that would have had to happen this past month....July.

And.... it didn't.

So today has been a difficult day for me. I had been so happy the past weeks. So healthy... feeling great. I couldn't even make myself be sad about the babies that never were meant to be. And I told myself I was "over it."

Yet, I live to learn another lesson. I didn't want to think I was still holding on to that "30" mark. I guess I was, and it seems God still has more for me to learn.

In about a week and a half we are going on a family trip to Chicago. I gave Corey tickets to the Braves (our local team) vs. the Cubs for his 30th birthday. It was going to be a trip for just the two of us, during the week our first miscarried baby was due. We decided a while back to take the kids too and Corey would take Noah to the game instead (a wise choice! :), and I am truly looking forward to it.

I have tried to look on the positive side of things today. I did pray...in EARNEST...that God would not allow me to get pregnant again if it wasn't going to be a healthy pregnancy... that He would please spare me the roller coaster and physical toll. I am very grateful for that. I truly and really and honestly and am thankful for that.

And, He has strengthened my own faith in the fact that we gave it 100% and totally to Him... and He is faithful.

And so time goes on. April 28th, 2011, my 30th birthday...will pass with no baby in my arms. But I'll survive. If I know anything from all this..I DO know that!

Moving On

2010-06-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

It seems that everything is pretty much over with this miscarriage, physically. I have to say that I already feel better emotionally than I have in a very long time. I think it is because I feel that I have so much closure now...so much complete trust and faith.

I have learned, even more than before, that we should not try and be in control of planning things for ourselves. Maybe we all have things mixed up...where we try and plan the "big" moments of our lives, like marriage, babies, jobs, moves...when really those most important things are the very things we should not try to be in control of at all.

I don't mean that you should just leave your life to chance or not put any thought into them. But the control and planning over them... the people who have every "big" thing in their life planned...

God doesn't give us control over those things. He gives us power over the little things... what clothes to wear, what movie to see. Perhaps where to go on vacation, or what book to read next. But the big things... babies... those things, as much as we like to think we are in control... we really aren't. And as much as we think we have complete power to control the big decisions...I've come to realize that the best place for those decisions is in a place completely and totally out of my reach and influence. I don't want control over where I am going to live, or where I am going to work or when and if I will have more children. I am leaving all of those things completely up to God. His has a way of letting his will be known, if we just let it.

This isn't to say that I won't be actively participating or seeking His plan. But it does mean that whatever happens I will give thanks that I know it is His will if I am willing and praying for that in our lives. And we are.

I believe that God gives us wisdom to make choices. But, I have come to trust that I don't always know what the right choice is going to be until the moment comes. A goal of mine is to not worry about tomorrow...or next month, or next year. I will take each minute, hour, and day as it comes, trusting that wisdom will be given when I need it. Along with grace, I believe God gives wisdom freely and perfectly, to complete His plan for us.

It is our human nature to try and plan everything. But not everything matters. Only the big things. So don't "sweat the small stuff" because if its important enough, He won't let us sweat it out too long anyway. :)

Another Long Day

2010-06-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9a)

For we were so utterly, unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death so that we would rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He who rescued us from so deadly a peril will continue to rescue us; on him we have set our hope that he will rescue us again. (2 Corinthians 1:8b-10a)

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18)

It's been a very long day. Like the first hard time of 4 hours, but this time pretty much all day. Not as much pain until the past few hours, but I will just say that is has been a very....... hard.... day.

This is definitely turning out to be worse than I thought it would be. Definitely a lot worse than last time. I guess because I was further along and supposedly in a different type of pregnancy.

I am so tired and weak right now. I took extra iron this morning when it got worse but I don't seem to feeling the effects, though I may have felt the lack of affect if I had not taken it, so maybe it is helping and I just don't know it.

I feel bad complaining on here, but I meant this to be a log of my experiences, and I want to include all the stages, good and bad. I also know that this experience is can't compare with what many people have suffered and faced in their lives. My life has been so protected and blessed. But, in my life, this is what I am going through. And as a friend once told me... your broken foot doesn't make my paper cut hurt any less. A lightening of the mood there. :) I know God considers all of our needs and understands how they affect us individually. And He desires to meet them all equally.

I am still trusting and praying. I know this won't last forever. In retrospect it will seem such a tiny blip of time. But right now the day is really long.

A Perfect Day

2010-06-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy 32:4
He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.

Unlikely title for a post right now, huh? Well, yesterday, God's way was known in my life. Before I even got out of bed I had an email with a link to a post, a post that really spoke to me and our situation. My heart was so heavy and sad.

Then, I called my neighbor whom I hadn't spoken to in a few days. She is so wise and comforting. She is more wise than anyone "our" age has a right to be! ha ha. But, her talk encouraged me to just blindly trust in our situation. To embrace the fact that God is drawing me nearer to Him and is building a testimony. To not give up the words I have been given and the desires of my heart. To just tell God how I'm feeling because He already knows.

Sometimes the things we know are overwhelmed by the feelings and emotions of the moment.

I spent some time in prayer and crying. Then I got an encouraging comment from the writer of that post I had been given. Her words were comforting as well. I felt so at peace with our situation and the future. Comfortable and at peace with letting go of trying to figure everything out and know His plan.

Then, in the early afternoon, we got a definite answer. I spent four hours of the late afternoon/evening in deep physical pain, cramping, all that comes along with having a miscarriage.

One of my prayers was that if this wasn't going to happen for us this time, that it happen naturally at home. And God answered that prayer for me. Not only did He answer that prayer, but He orchestrated an entire morning devoted to the restoration of my soul and mind, so that when the time came I was as ready as I could be for something like that to happen.

It still made me cry. It still hurt and by no means was it a pleasant experience. It still isn't even completely over. But I believe the worst is behind me.

Had I entered that physical stage of this tragedy in the state of mind I was in when I woke up, then my evening would have been a much worse time, I know that.

I am trusting and believing. I don't know the future, but I really don't have to. And that is a freeing thought. I don't have to plan it all the time. I don't have to know what His plan is or ask for it to be revealed. Because I know eventually, it will.

Whatever happens, even a miscarriage....can happen in a good way. I had a perfect day today. Not perfectly happy, but perfect. A "right" day. Because it happened the way He ordained even before I was ever born. I trust that it was perfect. Because He is the Rock and His ways are perfect.

Be Thou My Vision

2010-06-10T18:57:00.000-07:00

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

Nothing

2010-06-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

Nothing. Too much. Not enough.

That's how I feel right now. There is just too much going on in my mind.....

I have no idea how we got from that point, to this one. The point where we were so sure of our decision..... that it was the right one, the prayed over and given answer...to now, where nothing makes sense and my heart is completely and totally broken.

I don't understand what is going on with my body and I don't understand how this has happened twice in 7 months now.

Today, I was unfortunately given a sure sign that this is over again.

And I just don't understand.

I am increasingly grateful for the children we have. I know that is more than a lot of people who go through these kinds of experiences can say. I am so very grateful for their smiles and hugs, and for just them. But I am sad at the same time...regretful that I didn't realize at the time what a precious and amazing miracle I was experiencing through their pregnancies and births. Not that I didn't realize it in many and some ways, but I just feel like I didn't realize it enough.

I don't want to feel this way. If this is an answer for us in some way that our family is complete, then I want, and I need for the desire to be taken away. I know it can happen, and that is my prayer. My prayer is for peace and for healing, and for health and happiness, and for the desire for more children to be taken away and for me to feel peaceful, if that is what this means for us.

Metal Mouth

2010-06-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night with a new great pregnancy symptom: metal mouth!

YUCK!

I don't remember having this happen ever before. I got up and realized I had forgotten to bring a cup of water by the bed, so I went in the kitchen and got a fresh cup of ice cold water.

Took a big sip, and.....BLECH! It tasted AWFUL! I can't explain it exactly, but it was almost like a sweet metal which I know doesn't make any kind of sense, but that's the best I can do. It's been like that all day today as well.

All I can say is, I have definitely put in some time with annoying pregnancy symptoms. I hope hope hope that we get good news next week, though I am prepared for the worst.... I truly pray that all these crazy symptoms aren't for nothing!

2 weeks

2010-06-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

I called the doctor this morning to cancel my appointment.

It didn't seem like 3 days was long enough for changes...and driving 100 miles round trip and giving them $50 seemed like a waste this soon.

They consulted and called me back saying that waiting two more weeks would be fine. Unless, of course, I start having some kind of major pains or symptoms in the meantime.

I am really not looking forward to feeling nauseous for two more weeks for no reason, if this all ends badly as we think it might.

But, I am willing to wait. For that chance it might be okay. Two weeks should be enough time for my body to do what it needs to do one way or the other.

Reprieve

2010-06-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

Forever grateful for a word from God for my soul.

The message today had a special part in it just for my grieving soul. We aren't all "up" all the time. God's people have the job of lifting each other up. I have a constant support system... people who are praying for me and holding on to faith when I can't hold on to it for myself.

I don't have to feel like I let God down with my attitude over the past couple of days. I can repent and move on and get back on board with my faith and optimism. Two days of disbelief and sadness didn't ruin my life or change God's plan for my life... we are back on and I am feeling better! :)

In a Mood

2010-06-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, Corey took the kids to my mom's office to hang out for a bit during the day. We needed someone to watch the kids while I went to my appointment and we had also made plans for them to spend the night with my parents because we thought I would be getting medication today and would be sick over the weekend.

I was alone all during the day yesterday with the exception of my time with the person doing the ultrasound. I didn't even take anything to "do" in the waiting room. And I spent 20 minutes alone in the dark quiet ultrasound room while the technician reviewed the images. And it honestly it didn't bother me at all.

The kids still went on to my parents' house to spend the night because they were already very excited about it, and Corey went to hang out with some of the guys from church, so I spent the evening alone. I watched Steel Magnolias (which I'd never seen before) and various stuff on tv. I was content to be alone with my thoughts and just zone out.

Honestly, I told Corey this morning, that I would be content to just sit and stare at a wall indefinitely. My thoughts have just been gone. He asked what I wanted to do this morning and I really and truly didn't care. I realistically would have sat on the couch and stared at the walls all day. Just thinking. And feeling.

I am having so many feelings. Sadness, self-pity, hope, frustration, anger, all mixed together with the physical things like nausea and exhaustion from not sleeping well.

He told me to get dressed and let's go. He said we needed to go to Home Depot to pick up some things so I got dressed, didn't even fix my hair or makeup, and just left.

I am trying very hard to maintain the qualities that I know I should right now... like anticipation, hopefulness, faithfulness, optimism, etc. I know that feeling those things would make the day more pleasant for myself and others who have to be around me. But I guess after zoning out and not having the kids here to bring me around to life throughout the day, it was easy to just....... be. To fall into a slump.

When Corey made me get up and get dressed, just stepping outside woke me up a little. It was hot.

An encouraging call from my dear friend pepped me up slightly as well. Someone who has been here and who can acknowledge my right to feel these things but give me hope that it won't last forever. This too shall pass.

I feel like a failure to God for having so much "give-up-ness" in me right now. I feel guilty for feeling frustrated and angry. I know that giving it to Him is really my only choice because his plan is best. I know that in my head. But my heart and my emotions, my hormones and mood....just took over. Although it has only been a few weeks since we started with this round of the "miscarriage see-saw" it is almost like it has just tagged on with the other experience in December...it's almost like I can't remember those months in between...it's become such a cloud and flashback.

Our day out really helped me a lot. We walked around Home Depot. Had a late lunch at IHOP. Visited a thrift store and an office supply store. Then we went to pick up the kids.

I told my friend that I just wanted to be alone today. We were supposed to visit them today for a birthday party but I just wasn't in a party frame of mind. I guess my inner child needed a day to pout and be moody about all of this.

I told her that being with Corey was almost as good as being alone, ha ha. But he knew I didn't mean that in a bad way. I didn't even want to go get the kids early. I just wanted to be alone. What I meant by being with Corey was the same as being alone was that it is a comfort level thing. I am so thankful that I have a husband that is like being alone to be around. I can totally be myself....I don't feel compelled to talk if I don't want to, I can vent and share my feelings which he can share too in this situation. It was just a day of being. The good part is that he made me laugh so many times throughout the day. And it was nice. Better than being alone because I get the benefits of what I listed in addition to not having to drive myself around, ha ha.

Then we went to pick up the kids finally, who were already being fed dinner (thankfully) and the combination of a day "alone" with the evening with them here has been enough I think to get me on with things and out of my mood for a while.

I hope we get answers soon. I am trying so very hard to be hopeful for a miracle. I will be okay eventually, no matter what happens, but I am giving it all back tonight. There's nothing I can accomplish by hanging on to it anyway.

Roller Coasters

2010-06-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

I don't ride roller coasters. But I have definitely been on one the past few weeks.

Today, the ultrasound was inconclusive. The doctor said we shouldn't do anything as far as medication goes right now. The gestational sac actually grew over the past two weeks, though nothing can be seen inside it yet. That combined with the fact that I am not bleeding, my numbers went up (though very slowly), and I have so many symptoms...makes her reluctant to do anything permanent.

And actually, I agree. I wouldn't feel comfortable with it at this point either.

But I am ready to be off this roller coaster!!!!!!!

I go back to the doctor Monday.

I really don't want to be hopeful for no reason, and I think I am still prepared for the worst....

But I keep thinking about my verse.... the evidence of things not seen...the evidence of things not seen.

I was slightly relieved that the decision was taken out of my hands today. We'd already made plans for the kids to be away and for Corey to be home with me...but then we thought we knew the outcome of today. But it turns out we didn't.

Oh well...I guess this is to be continued on Monday.

Our Answer

2010-06-03T14:46:00.000-07:00

We got our answer today. No baby in January for us.

There was no growth from two weeks ago to today. Just an empty sac where the baby should have grown. I had bloodwork done which showed an increase in Hcg from 2224 to 6964. Very slow rate of rising over a period of two complete weeks.

They do need to do another official ultrasound before giving me medication which is what we have decided would be best. If the ultrasound confirms no growth, then I can do the medication over the weekend and hopefully be on the road to feeling better before too much longer. I just don't want to keep having these pregnancy symptoms when it is a failed pregnancy. It's too much.

I think we were definitely prepared for this news today. I had complete peace and now that we have our answer I am at peace with doing what we need to do next.

The Night Before

2010-06-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

Well...all the waiting has gotten me to this point: the night before.

Tomorrow we should know definitely whether or not to plan for a baby's arrival in January.

I still feel completely at peace, though I am sure my blood pressure and heart rate will tell a different story before my appointment, ha ha.

My appointment is at 12:40. Of course..it wouldn't be first thing in the morning.

I have planned my first nine weeks of homeschool out on paper...I have written out the kids spelling words on index cards (every set for both of them for the entire year!) which is a ton by the way. I have done just about everything I can do at home..the laundry is caught up, the dishes are clean, I have blogged, I have prayed, I have enlisted the prayers of a few friends.

I have sent out e-vites for Noah's family birthday party, worked out some of our summer schedule with traveling (hopefully).....

All I can do now is the same thing I have been doing for the past two weeks......wait.

And pray, and meditate on the answer God gave me last weekend...

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen;
it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

No matter what happens tomorrow...I know that God's plan will prevail. And I have to rest in the peace that He knows best. His way is best. If that includes a baby for us in January then I will joyfully and willingly accept that it is meant to happen in His timing. And if it does not, then I will willingly and trustingly accept that it is meant to happen in His timing.

Nov. 2009

2010-05-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about "waiting" and all of a sudden I remembered doing a post on my regular blog about a point made in the Beth Moore Esther study last fall..... after reading it I knew for sure that God was preparing my heart for the coming year.....

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Waiting...

Last night's Esther session was....GREAT as always. I love learning about the origin of words used in the Bible. Here is my favorite point from last night concerning this verse:

Isaiah 30:18

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

In the original language used, the word "longs" in the first line and the word "wait" in the last line are the SAME!

In explanation: "It isn't a wait without the longing." In all instances of waiting...there is inherently a longing. There is something you are waiting for. Waiting for your turn...you are obviously longing for it to be your turn. Waiting for Christmas...you are obviously longing for Christmas.

Then, to think about it with this verse in mind...God is longing for what you are longing to receive. Blessed are YOU who WAIT for HIM! His longing is also the waiting...waiting for the right time. LONGING for that time to be here so He can answer and give you what you LONG and WAIT for....

Such rich words! I am sad that we only have two more sessions! I learn so much every single week!